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Around one in four relationships start online now, and among the millennial generation, the number is likely to be even higher.
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I’m pretty sure I’ve never felt more gay than while watching him fasten the leather strap around his un-manicured balls.

Tinder guy turned out to be two of my worst fears combined: a short actor.

Sometimes the idea of “getting out there” seems like torture, but you have to do it, because the alternative is a life of sitting home alone, eating bags of beef jerky while watching trying to will myself into the headspace of the film’s main character, who takes great pleasure in fucking strange men—something I, too, used to find sexy and exciting, before my ex-girlfriend tore out my heart and threw it in the trash along with my will to live and my problematically high sex drive.

A couple nights later, I went to a dinner party on the Upper East Side.

It was when he attempted to grind with me to a Lana Del Rey techno remix that I finally made my escape.

But it wasn’t a true escape, because in the following days and then weeks, Tinder guy’s texts were incessant, despite my complete lack of response.